Faith In Christianity?

Been waiting for weeks. Came back from sony service centre and my instincts tell me today is the day. Saw the postman delivering the letters and I stood beside him hoping to see the letter. All the letters were of the same size which would means that it can only be of the same result last year. True enough. NTU. WHy? 3.6? Isnt it good enough? This is my second year trying. I've been working hard and waiting for the day to gain entry to the 3 local uni and what now? What is it that you want of me? I'm just wasting my time, energy, money and effort for nothing. I cant see you, I cant hear you and I cant feel you. All I know is, I'm living each day by faith in you, by my own assumptions that everything is running smoothly.

I know, it'll be the same outcome for smu. My last hope, NUS.

Sigh... I drifting further and further away from this faith. I want it back. I want to be a good example, a good testimony in whatever I do, for I wana do it for u not me. If this is what you want of me, then pls stop me from all my wishful thinking.